I gained 8-ish lbs during quarantine thanks to a drastic reduction in activity and my cutting edge nutrition program called the Fuck It Diet.

I’ve been saying I only care because I compete in a weight class-based sport and it put me in the next weight class up (84kg).

But to be honest, I also really hated being in the 160s. I can’t remember the last time I weighed that much and I was freaking out.

For the past month I’ve been watching what I eat and my activity level has increased thanks to working more and training consistently. I see compositional changes. But even better, I feel great and my clothes fit better. But alas, the scale has barely budged.

It’s absurd how much the idea of what we SHOULD weigh impacts our self worth. It’s just data. It can be potentially useful information. But, especially if you’re a woman, your weight can fluctuate as much as 10 lbs in a DAY.

If that number fucks with you, find a different way to track progress. I like progress pics and waist circumference measurements. Or how your clothes fit. And how you feel. Not how you think you should feel but how you actually feel.

If you think I don’t look 165 lbs, ask yourself what 165 lbs looks like? Nothing. It’s a fucking number. You are not a number.

So I guess I’m an 84kg lifter now. Cool. Literally no one fucking cares. 🙃

Don’t beat yourself up for gaining weight during this shitstorm of a year. This is one of the most stressful times in modern history. My career revolves around my appearance and to a much lesser degree my athletic ability. Don’t compare yourself to me or other people in this field who eat, breathe, and shit this stuff all day. And also have mastered posing and lighting.

If you’re looking for a way to add some extra activity, head out to the many Black Lives Matter protests, Juneteenth celebrations, and LGBTQ+ Pride events happening worldwide. Just remember to wear your mask.